An Israeli author offers advice on breaking free from familial cycles of manipulation and conditional love.
Shiri-Horowitz (Hope to See You Soon, 2014, etc.) grew up with a possessive, critical mother. It’s a vicious cycle, she argues: Women who lacked a mother’s unconditional love repeat the same pattern of treatment when they become parents. Her own mother “remained hurt, and hurtful. She copied her mother’s maternal paradigm.” The first chapter helpfully sets out the 10 characteristics of narcissistic mothers. These include concern with appearances, jealousy between mother and daughter, and a lack of respect for the child’s individual identity. In this framework, the father is often a passive partner who tries feebly to make peace. Shiri-Horowitz describes her father as “weak,” “overshadowed,” and absent-seeming. Emotional neglect is a powerful force, the author contends, and contrasts with the seeming perfection of a family seen from the outside: Her mother kept up a convincing facade, with her home and children well-kempt. No one could have guessed there was emotional abuse behind the scenes. At times, this edged into physical abuse, as when her mother threw her to the floor while verbally disowning her. Shiri-Horowitz capably weaves telling incidents from her own history with the psychological insights she has gained into narcissism. She stresses the importance of setting boundaries and finding your own voice, such as by writing a letter to your childhood self. A final poem is especially effective at dramatizing the battle of wills between mother and daughter: “Mom, you do not know / Where you start and where I / End—you are not me and I am not you.” This volume will undoubtedly be helpful to readers who recognize their own families here. It’s a short and well-structured work, though it repeats some facts (for example, the author’s mother hurling her to the floor). The book is also heavily indebted to Karyl McBride’s Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers.
A succinct and useful self-help guide for those who have been emotionally damaged by narcissists.
One of the most touching and captivating books that I read in one breath. A story that connects two worlds and a classic ongoing emotional struggle followed by some tough decisions for a wife and a mother who left her home to persue her husband's career. A must read!
Taken from the web site http://www.amazon.com/Hope-See-Soon-Hebrew-Edition/product-reviews/1495108260/ref=cm_cr_dp_qt_hist_five?ie=UTF8&filterBy=addFiveStar&showViewpoints=0
Just finished reading, enjoyed tremendously! I am part of the "Israeli Community" in Seattle, arrived here for work so much of what I've read in the book, I have observed in various family. The constant dilemma of staying or going back, often split across husband and wife, is common among families. The author (whom I know personally) combined personal experiences (such as her Military service back in Israel) with a fictional storyline, laced with bits and pieces observed in the community, or typical of relocated families. The difference in happiness and satisfaction with life away from home highly depends on finding a new home, a community and circle of friends, whether Israeli or local. The story outlines a not-so-happy case, which has also occurred. While this story is about an Israeli family in the US, I know the trials and tribulations are common to migrant families from other countries. Great read!
Taken from the web site http://www.amazon.com/Hope-See-Soon-Hebrew-Edition/product-reviews/1495108260/ref=cm_cr_dp_qt_hist_five?ie=UTF8&filterBy=addFiveStar&showViewpoints=0
Beautiful, touching book. Both of the main characters are complicated, sympathetic and very real women. "Hope to See You Soon" is particularly meaningful for those whose love for Israel conflicts with their loyalty to family, but it will resonate with anyone who is caught between two different worlds. Highly recommended.
Taken from the web site http://www.amazon.com/Hope-See-Soon-Hebrew-Edition/product-reviews/1495108260/ref=cm_cr_dp_qt_hist_five?ie=UTF8&filterBy=addFiveStar&showViewpoints=0
Beautiful, touching book. Both of the main characters are complicated, sympathetic and very real women. "Hope to See You Soon" is particularly meaningful for those whose love for Israel conflicts with their loyalty to family, but it will resonate with anyone who is caught between two different worlds. Highly recommended.
Taken from the web site http://www.amazon.com/Hope-See-Soon-Hebrew-Edition/product-reviews/1495108260/ref=cm_cr_dp_qt_hist_five?ie=UTF8&filterBy=addFiveStar&showViewpoints=0
Hope to see you soon is one of those books that I read in one breath. It not only touched my heart since I'm one if those who immigrated from their homeland but also because the characters reminded me real people and true events. I have enjoyed the Author's previous book as well, 'The Daughers of Iraq' and this one is just as good. I highly recommend.
Taken from the web site http://www.amazon.com/Hope-See-Soon-Hebrew-Edition/product-reviews/1495108260/ref=cm_cr_dp_qt_hist_five?ie=UTF8&filterBy=addFiveStar&showViewpoints=0
First I have to say I have never left a review before and probably never will again....just not my personality. I found this book very interesting and fun to read. I finished the book within a day since it was so fascinating and touching. After reading this book I purchased her first book "Daughters of Iraq" which I fell in love with as well. Thank you for a wonderful reading experience.
Taken from the web site http://www.amazon.com/Hope-See-Soon-Hebrew-Edition/product-reviews/1495108260/ref=cm_cr_dp_qt_hist_five?ie=UTF8&filterBy=addFiveStar&showViewpoints=0
So let's get something straight, I love reading fiction. It is primarily my reading material of choice. I am blond, shallow and easily entertained. That said I am also not a total idiot. So at times I really get lost in a narrative that opens up a new world to me. The Daughters of Iraq is one such book. The narrative, coursing over generations, sometimes in diary form etc draws the reader into a life and a world I have little if no knowledge about. For some reason or another it never occurred to me that Jewish people could live in Iraq, that Iraq did not feel the same pressure as did most of the world during WWII or any of the other myriad aspects addressed in this book. The characters in this book is utterly amazing, those touched upon in third person narrative etc all do so with an openness and a frankness that I really enjoyed. These are not mass murderers; these are people, friends, family, and neighbors. Their flaws although apparent and at times appalling (I had the world's worth of respect of Noa's grandfather) and their successes, which shone through, one thing remained true. This is a story about real people, people who get mistreated by their spouses, who gets killed due to a bicycle accident. People who will be remembered due to the way they dealt with life. Something has got to be said about the everyday heroes who live, and prosper in life without being a hero with a cape. I loved this book and would recommend it to any reader who wants to break free from the norm. I give it a resounding 5 * review.
Taken from the web site http://tattlet.blogspot.co.il/
Review by, Wanda Hart
A latticework of personal tragedies and cultural history underpins Shiri-Horowitz’s debut novel about immigrant lives in Israel, translated from the Hebrew by Shira Atik. Violet and Farida Twaina, the youngest daughters of a Jewish Iraqi family, find their lives upended during “The Exodus” in the 1940s, when Jews fled the country to escape retaliation during the creation of Israel. Abandoning a sprawling house in Baghdad, the family arrives as refugees at an Israeli transit camp and then scatters to far-flung kibbutzim. Violet and Farida remain inseparable through this time of hardship, and subsequently through marriage and the births of their children. Their lives slowly return to normalcy, but other sorrows await—the death of their beloved former playmate, Eddie; early widowhood and its attendant loneliness for Farida; and an untimely diagnosis of terminal cancer for Violet. In her final months, Violet writes a diary for her children, Noa and Guy, to ensure the family’s past stays alive. The journal forms one part of the triptych of shifting points of view that illuminate this generational saga. Farida and Noa, meanwhile, offer insight into the family’s present and future. If political betrayals scarred the older generation, Noa grapples with betrayals of a more personal nature. Her emotional journey offers a counterpoint to the family’s earlier journey from persecution. Despite its somber narrative arc, the novel is leavened with passion (above all else, for food, which is almost a fourth protagonist). The Twaina sisters’ zest for life, despite setbacks, is seen in the dying Violet’s rich evocation of the culture of Iraqi Jews and in matronly Farida’s spirited foray to a beauty salon to have her hair cut, colored and styled. Such moments offset occasionally stodgy prose and some heavy-handed exposition. These are minor flaws, however, in a novel that brims with love for a community that no longer exists, and for the women who ensure that this lost community will not be forgotten. A sympathetic tale of love, loss and loneliness highlighting a largely underrepresented community.
Taken from the web site http://www.kirkusreviews.com/book-reviews/revital-shiri-horowitz/daughters-of-iraq/#review
Daughters of Iraq is the story of three Jewish women. Violet was an Iraqi Jew migrant to Israel. Not wanting her children to be ignorant of her history, she recorded in a diary her journey to Israel and life in her new country. Farida is the younger sister of Violet. Relationships hasn’t always turned out well for her. Now alone, she tells her life stories to her niece and granddaughter. Noa is Violet’s daughter. The life stories of her mother and aunty will be the key to how she makes the decisions in her life.
The jumps in the story’s year timeline was confusing initially. Readers are brought to Violet’s childhood world, Farida and Noa’s present world, the time the family migrated to Israel, and Violet’s illness period. After the first few chapters, I got used to the jumps and reading the book became easier. Although this book is a fictional novel, the telling of the story made it sound hauntingly real. As I read, I had to remind myself that I was reading a historical novel, and not a nonfiction biography. The accentuation of the unnatural way English was spoken in certain conversations made the story all the more realistic. Readers are acquainted with the story and its characters through various ways: family conversations, Violet’s diary, phone conversations, and letters. While I got to know quite a bit of Farida and her character personalities, I wished a more in-depth glimpse of Violet was given. One part in the book particularly stood out for me. The death of Violet and Farida’s nephew, Eddie. The very random way he died tells us that heroes don’t always die heroic and/or dramatic deaths. Overall, I thought that the length of Daughters of Iraq was too short for its type of story. I wanted to get to know each of the characters more before the book ended and wasn’t entirely satisfied with the happily-ever-after hints at the ending. But nevertheless, the historical aspect of the plot kept me enthralled with the story. It was interesting reading about the lives of Iraqi Jews and their migration to the new state of Israel.
Taken from the web site http://pagesofgold.blogspot.com/2011_09_01_archive.html
One of the most touching and captivating books that I read in one breath. A story that connects two worlds and a classic ongoing emotional struggle followed by some tough decisions for a wife and a mother who left her home to persue her husband's career. A must read!
Taken from the web site http://www.amazon.com/Hope-See-Soon-Hebrew-Edition/product-reviews/1495108260/ref=cm_cr_dp_qt_hist_five?ie=UTF8&filterBy=addFiveStar&showViewpoints=0
Life, Death, Love, Loss, Growth. In Daughters of Iraq, author Revital Shiri-Horowitz tackles these issues and does it with astonishing grace and skill. Told in the alternating narratives of three different women from the same family, Shiri-Horowitz takes us from Iraq to Israel, from Loss to Living and from merely coping to truly existing.
Noa Rosen has lost her mother and is still reeling from that loss. A twenty-something student in Israel, she is seeking meaning and understanding. When she is given the diary that her mother kept during her illness she discovers that there was much about her mother that she never knew.
Violet Rosen has come to the end of her life. As she struggles with leaving her beloved husband and children behind, she finds a way to share her story with them after she’s gone. Through the pages of her diary we learn of her immigration from Iraq to Israel. The diary is a Godsend for her daughter, Noa, after her loss, but it is also healing to Violet.
Farida Sasson is also dealing with loss. She is a widow and is having a hard time coping with an emptiness that has enveloped her since her children have left home and her husband has passed away. She finds strength in her family and in food and she loves to indulge in both. When she sees her niece struggling to cope with life after her sister’s death, she decides she is ready to give her the diary. Through the pages of this diary she hopes that Noa will also learn the importance of family.
I greatly enjoyed Daughters of Iraq. I was very impressed with the author’s ability to alternate voice and completely jump around between time periods and locations with ease. The pace of the book was wonderful and I found it hard to put down. I found the story to be very touching. The pages of Violet’s diary were especially memorable to me. I found myself turning pages faster and faster during her stories of a privileged existence in Iraq to a much more challenging life in Israel. I was deeply moved by the descriptions of her withering body and her coming to terms with it. I also found this book to be educational. While it is a novel, it is based in historical fact and much of this history I never gave much consideration to. I would strongly recommend this book and I’m very glad that I read it.
Taken from the web site http://sugarpeach.wordpress.com/2011/08/24/review-daughters-of-iraq-by-revital-shiri-horowitz/
A novel of three women who were staunch believers in their families and their religion.
Daughters of Iraq allows the reader into the lives of Farida, Nao, and Violet. Their lives were shared through everyday situations, through diaries, and through memories. Each woman had a dream of her own, but they all had their family and their religion as the base of all of their dreams. You learn how each woman is different yet the same. The descriptions of the characters in terms of physical as well emotional is phenomenal...that definitely is the strong point of the novel. Shiri-Horowitz's writing is flawless.
I really enjoyed learning about each woman. You will be able to clearly visualize each one of them as their stories unfold. A few poignant pages that contained a letter from Noa's father could apply to any son or daughter and will make you do some strong intro-spection....it actually brought tears to my eyes. Learning about the immigration from Iraq to Israel and information about the Jewish holidays and celebrations was truly educational.
The only negative for me was that I couldn't keep all the characters straight, but the author thoughtfully placed a glossary indicating which character was which and in what chapter they were introduced. She also had a dictionary with explanations of the words and expressions used throughout the book.
The book definitely held my interest, and even though the difficulty of identifying who was who did cause a stumbling block for me, I am rating the book a 5/5 simply because of the exceptional content and lesson learned from each of the women. I eventually did figure out the connection between everyone. ENJOY!!!
Taken from the web site http://silversolara.blogspot.com/2011/09/daughters-of-iraq-by-revital-shiri.html
Totally Touches the Heart
I hungered to read this book from my first reading of it's blurb. I wasn't disappointed. Daughters of Iraq introduced me into the world and traditions of a culture I had never thought to enter into. What a shame it took me so long. I was drawn into the story by characters who shared their lives as if they were never a part of fiction. The use of their native language really cinched it for me. I liked the way the story flicked from past to present and back again, while smoothly sharing bits of history. I used to think of Iraq, Israel as just words, a place, you know what I mean? I now see the people. I could just picture it as a movie. I recommend this book to everyone.
-- Ey Wade "Imtheauthor" on Amazon.com
Beautiful and moving
Daughters of Iraq swept me up into the lives of the three Jewish women from whose point of view I came to understand the struggles of transplanted refugees from Iraq to Israel. I was fascinated with every aspect of the story. As an American with little understanding of the culture, or the struggle Iraqi Jews went through, I could not get enough. This book opened my eyes and brought me into a world completely different from my own by means of the flawless narrative and wonderfully drawn characters, whom I came to know and love. Daughters of Iraq will move you and enchant you. I can't recommend it highly enough.
-- Georgina Young, Author of The Time Baroness, Amazon.com
A fabulous view into the lives of three women looking for love and hope
Revital Shiri-Horowitz's beautifully written story of three generations of women in "Daughter's of Iraq" illustrates that basic human element that pulls all people together no matter what culture, religion, or nationality - love.
Living in my Irish, Catholic bubble from San Francisco, I had very little knowledge of Jewish women in Iraq who migrated to Israel in the mid 1900's to early 1990's. In my naivety, I've always felt American women had total command with the intense devotion a mother has for her children.
In her historically precise account of the times, Revital story touches the soul with human kindness, tragic loss, tenderness, hope, and the circle of love that weaves all hearts together with a delicate golden thread tying generations into one tapestry of life - the family.
I laughed, cried, and found myself relating to this beautifully written novel of a family in a world far away. It's a lovely story of humanity, a mother's adoration for her children, and a family's dream for the future. One a scale of 5 stars, I give it an 8. I highly recommend it to both men and women alike.
-- Jackie Madden Haugh, My life in a Tutu, Amazon.com
I felt that I was actually living within this inspiring story, and with each turn of the page, I became more and more a part of this sad, happy, and historical story.
--Simon Palmer, Author of Loosing to Hate
Beautiful
In a twisting plot with intriguing characters Shiri-Horowitz grasps the attention of the reader in a novel that is both instructive and heartfelt. Through the main character, Noa, a young woman looking for meaning in our convolute world, we experience the journey of her ancestors, an established Jewish family in Iraq, to the newly formed state of Israel in the early `50s. Their hardships and triumphs shed light on a forgotten chapter of history, and help our protagonist make sense of her own destiny. Beautiful.
--Anthony Blumfield on Amazon.com
Loved the book!!
I read the book and was fascinated by the story,and by the History I learned. I had no idea there was a Jewish underground in Bagdad. I loved how the Author had the story jump in time and place, I laughed and cried, such a human heart touching book. Go read it!
-- Lola on Amazon.com
A story of how Isreal accepted all who came
As an American Jew I always believed that Israel was a country populated by European refugees from the Holocaust. But after a trip to Israel I learned that the majority of Israelis are actually from the Middle East. Unfortunately they are refugees kicked out of their homelands when the state of Israel declared independence. My niece married an Israeli and many members of his large extended families were those refugees. When a friend recommended Daughters of Iraq to me well I wanted to learn more about those gracious people that entertained us in their home with feasts like the ones described in this wonderful novel. The story is told from the perspective of Noa, Farida and Violet and we see how the two generations of women and their offspring adapted to a new and sometimes hard life in a foreign land. The stories are told with an honesty that sometimes makes your heart hurt. I highly recommend this novel, there is even a glossary of foreign words which adds so much to the flavor of the novel. I love to read a novel that is informative and entertaining.
-- Ray L. Bertoia on Amazon.com
Hard to put down!
Revital Shiri-Horowitz's "Daughter of Iraq" is the beautifully written story of three generations of Jewish women in Baghdad and Israel. The author draws such rich portraits of the characters that I had to keep reminding myself that they were fictional! Horowitz does a magnificent job weaving the individual stories into the broader historical background. "Daughter of Iraq" is an emotionally satisfying, informative, and extremely readable book. I highly recommend it.
-- Shira in Springfield on Amaon.com
Brilliantly Written - Expertly Told
Daughters of Iraq captivated me; led me into a way of life and a history I was, until now, completely unaware of.
The author has written this book with an elegance that you don't often see these days. I felt that I was actually living within this inspiring story, and with each turn of the page, I became more and more a part of this sad, happy, and historical story.
It doesn't matter what race, colour, or creed that any of us are . . . love will always prevail.
I highly recomend this book to a broader readership as possible.
10 out of 10
5 stars!
-- sjp on Amazon.com
Beautiful voices of three strong women
Revital Shiri-Horowitz's "Daughters of Iraq" weaves together the stories of three women: Two Jewish-Iraqi sisters Farida and Violet growing up and then fleeing Baghdad for Israel, and Violet's daughter Noa, living in modern Israel. As the story begins, Violet has died, and Noa is seeking her way in life. Noa gets her mother's diary from Aunt Farida, and we get to read it along with her.
Shiri-Horowitz is able to carry off the story from multiple points of view. I cheered Noa on as she learned to move forward with her life and love. Violet, dying of cancer, worried about her children and mused about life and her ravaged body. But my favorite character was Farida: she was quite the woman. A widow who still cooks like her family surrounds her, her body huge, her voice gentle and melodic. I'd love to meet her in real life.
Intertwined with the stories was some interesting history, too. Who knew that so many Jews fled Baghdad after Israel was formed? Or that a resistance force stayed behind? This book was a nice debut by Shiri-Horowitz, and I'm looking forward to more. I sure hope she brings Farida along!
-- Dennis Batchelder on Amazon.com
Heart touching novel about family, tradition, love, and relationship
Daughters of Iraq is a wonderful novel that opens forgotten page in history of immigration of Iraqi Jews to Israel after World WarII. Reader witnesses incredible life stories of 3 generations of Jewish woman, who share their strength with their kids, family, friends, country. Book will teach you how to remain in love in most difficult times of your life and how to translate kindness to your lovedones.
-- Arons on BarnesandNoble.com
Beautiful and moving
Daughters of Iraq swept me up into the lives of the three Jewish women from whose point of view I came to understand the struggles of life as transplanted refugees from Iraq to Israel. I was fascinated with every aspect of the story. As an American with little understanding of the culture, or the struggle Iraqi Jews went through, I could not get enough. This book opened my eyes and brought me into a world completely different from my own by means of the flawless narrative and wonderfully drawn characters, whom I came to know and love. Daughters of Iraq will move you and enchant you. I can't recommend it highly enough.
-- ginafire on BarnesandNoble.com
Loved the book
I enjoyed reading the book very much, and could not put it down until i was done reading it. I recommend it!
-- Barak on BarnesandNoble.com
Truly, Revital, I have no words to praise you... You novel one of the best I ever read...
--Olga on BarnesandNoble.com
A window into a lost world
Daughters of Iraq is a lovingly written story of a Jewish world that no longer exists. The window into the life of Jews living in Iraq in the first half of the 20th century presented in this personal novel was fascinating. Sharing their experiences of being uprooted from their ancient homeland and moved to their modern and ancestral homeland of Israel provides one with a sense of what life was like for Mizrahi Jews in Israel's early days. Life was not easy and assimilating into an Israel run by European Jews and Sabras was difficult. The multigenerational telling of the story of Violet, Farida and Noa is compelling and engaging. I recommend this novel to anyone who wants to learn more about the Iraqi Jewish community, life in Israel or just wants to enjoy a lovingly written story of family and change.
--Nance M Adler on amazon.com
Although this book is a fictional novel, the telling of the story made it sound hauntingly real. As I read, I had to remind myself that I was reading a historical novel, and not a nonfiction biography. The accentuation of the unnatural way English was spoken in certain conversations made the story all the more realistic. Readers are acquainted with the story and its characters through various ways: family conversations, Violet’s diary, phone conversations, and letters.
Sugarpeach -http://sugarpeach.wordpress.com/2011/08/24/review-daughters-of-iraq-by-revital-shiri-horowitz/
Beautiful, touching book. Both of the main characters are complicated, sympathetic and very real women. "Hope to See You Soon" is particularly meaningful for those whose love for Israel conflicts with their loyalty to family, but it will resonate with anyone who is caught between two different worlds. Highly recommended.
Taken from the web site http://www.amazon.com/Hope-See-Soon-Hebrew-Edition/product-reviews/1495108260/ref=cm_cr_dp_qt_hist_five?ie=UTF8&filterBy=addFiveStar&showViewpoints=0